Stern’s Miss (Tiger’s) Mistress Pageant More Like a Tell All With Tits

Tiger’s dick is bigger than Michael Jordan’s!!!  I just had to get that out the way first and foremost!!!  LOL!!

Remember Howard Stern’s Miss Mistress Pageant that I reported on the other day?  You know, the one that had Tiger Woods’ mistresses as contestants?  Well, the results are in and the winner has been chosen.  Jamie Jungers walked away with the $75,000 First Prize that was sponsored by infidelity website AshleyMadison.com.  Jamie Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs and Loredana Jolie competed nearly nude (in bikinis that looked more like underwear) in Howard’s version of a beauty competition. The pageant was really more of a confessional about the ladies’ sexcapades with Tiger rather than a contest of any particular talent or even beauty.

So what did we learn from this pageant-turned-tell-all?  All you aspiring gold-diggers and random hos that wish to be paid for sexual favors by multi-millionaires, get a load of what was revealed on PopEater:

Tiger thinks condoms are for losers.
With two of the three women competing in the pageant (Jungers and Grubbs) Tiger didn’t use any protection at all. “He never mentioned it or asked if I was on birth control. He’ d pull out,” Jungers said. “I was shocked I didn’t get pregnant.” Loredana Jolie said she asked Tiger to wear a condom every time.

Tiger is a big boy.
Two out of three women (Jungers and Jolie) agreed that Tiger was well-endowed. “I wasn’t frightened but yeah he’s a pretty good size,” Jungers said. Loredana Jolie claimed she was also a paramour of Michael Jordan and Bruce Willis (sorry to drag you into this mess guys) and that Tiger was the most sizable out of all three.

Jamie Jungers wanted to have a threesome….with Tiger’s wife.
“He mentioned it [having a threesome] and I said only if I can pick and he said OK and I said if it’s your wife,” Jungers said. Apparently he didn’t mention it again.

Tiger likes role playing.
But only with Loredana Jolie (the other two women said he didn’t indulge with them), who claims that Woods would invite blonds (and only blonds) of all different nationalities to perform sexual acts on each other in front of him while he wore a business suit. We’ve never heard of that particular role play..board room? Naughty CEO? Celebrity Apprentice? “Everyone was naked and he was in a suit. He wore the whole suit and he would sit there in a chair,” Jolie said. “We were like little puppets”

Tiger is cheap.
Jamie Jungers once asked Tiger for some money to pay her rent and he told her no way. “I felt trapped. I said can you please help me I said I don’t know what else to do and I’m already embarrassed to ask you and he said I can’t. I stopped being with him after that after 18 months,” Jungers said. But that wasn’t all. The man raking in millions from sponsorships never even bought her nice presents and when he flew her out to see him it was on Southwest, in coach. “He was cheap. He never tipped at restaurants. It embarrassed me,” Jungers said.

Tiger loves nicknames.
He named Jungers, “My Little Coffee Cup” and “Jamie Juices.” He just called Loredana LD (because their relationship was strictly professional) and referred to Grubbs as “Skinny Fat.” “He says I eat like a fat person but I’m skinny,” Grubbs said.

Jamie Grubbs believes she is the superior mistress.
She came in second place but Jamie Grubbs believes she is far superior to the other mistresses. She bailed on the show the second she found out she wasn’t getting that $75k check and a bouquet full of golf balls. “She made me uncomfortable,” Jungers said. Meowch!!

Since there could only be 1 winner out of the three ladies, it was Jungers who was awarded the crown by a landslide.  But why her?  It wasn’t because of her looks or her bejeweled belly button, but because of her honesty and the fact that she truly was a mistress. There arose some question over whether Loredana Jolie could actually call herself a mistress since she claimed to have been “paired” with Tiger through a “matchmaking” agency at a cost of $15,000. Don’t worry, she is fairly certain she isn’t a prostitute, just a really expensive date.